Healing
by fayzalmoonbeam
Summary: (TR Movie fanfic). Lara is a changed woman when she returns from Africa-but a near tragedy causes her to come to terms with her deepening feelings for her butler, Hillary.
1. Default Chapter

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Healing

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Summary and author's notes: This is a follow on from the end of TR:TCOL and plays with the idea that Hillary and Lara were lovers during the film, although they have not been that way for long. I shamelessly stole Arrow from Evelyn's "His Lady" fic. My motivation is the delicious thought of Hillary in jodhpurs… G

Thanks again to Evelyn for being such an exacting and demanding beta-your help has made this fic a whole lot better :)

Lara Croft returned from Africa a changed woman. Outwardly, she was the same, bantering with Bryce and attending to the paperwork that had built up in her absence, but to the man who knew her best, there was a tumult of emotion simmering below the surface that she couldn't quite hide. Hillary sensed it from the moment they embarked on their return journey, and his heart ached with a combination of empathy and uncertainty.

He couldn't bring himself to ask about what had happened prior to the destruction of Pandora's Box, although he knew the basic details. Lara had been faced with a choice that had tested her sanity to the limit, and, to Hillary's mind, she had taken the only available path open to her. He knew, however, that Lara felt differently. She wasn't about to turn around and admit as much, but he knew, from the haunted expression in her eyes that she was far from over the ordeal.

It was after the fifth bad night in a row that Hillary finally decided to broach the subject with Lara. Although to all intents and purposes, he kept up the façade of being her butler in public, Hillary had recently been spending his nights in Lara's antique four-poster bed. Night after night, since she had returned, he had held her when she had woken up screaming, and calmed her sobbing when she realised the full extent of what she had done. This particular night, the dream had been worse than usual. Hillary had been in a deep sleep, and so he had not immediately registered when Lara had sat bolt upright in bed. When she began to scream, with a jump, he sprang up and wrapped his arms around her.

"Sssh, darling…it's alright…I'm here," he soothed as she began to cry. He pulled her closer to him, stroking her dishevelled raven hair away from her face. Rocking her back and forth, uttering soothing nonsense in an attempt to calm her, he knew that both of them couldn't take much more of this. Hillary vowed that he would, somehow, get Lara to talk in the morning. Eventually, she calmed. Settling back against the pillows once more, still wrapped in one another's embrace, they slept.

The next morning, Hillary rose early and brought Lara breakfast in bed. She sat up groggily, rubbing her eyes in a curiously vulnerable gesture that touched Hillary.

"Good morning," he said cheerfully, placing the tray over her knees. "I thought you might want a little something for breakfast seeing as you haven't been eating much lately."

"Thanks, Hilly," Lara yawned. "But I still don't honestly feel that hungry." She took a sip from the mug of tea on the tray and nibbled at the toast next to it.

"You must eat _something_ Lara," Hillary said, aware that his tone had a somewhat fussy edge to it. "You've hardly eaten anything since we got back."

Lara sighed, and for a moment she looked so desolate that Hillary's heart ached. He placed a warm hand over hers. "I promise you, it'll make you feel better."

"I know, but, oh Hilly, I don't think I'll ever get back to feeling 'normal' again." She turned pain filled eyes towards her friend and lover. "How can I ever be normal when I did what I did?" She began to pleat the sheet in front of her, her hands shaking.

Hillary drew her into his arms once more. "You did what you needed to do, Lara. That's all there is to it."

"Is it? Is it really?" Lara looked back up into Hillary's eyes and he could see the tumult of emotions reflected there.

"There must have been some other way," Lara continued quietly. "I didn't have to…do what I did." She began to tremble. "I could have…I don't know, tried harder to talk him out of taking the box…" The pleating became almost frantic, as she fought to regain her self-control.

"After all we'd been through together to find the Cradle of Life, everything we'd seen and felt, surely he could see that opening the box was the worst thing he could do." Lara clenched her fists in a supreme effort to stop her hands from shaking. The horrors of her dreams were encroaching once more, even in the light of day, and Lara shuddered.

"All I keep seeing are images of his face; the way he was so certain that he was right about the box, and the sadness in his eyes when he realised that I would kill him if I needed to." For a moment, Lara stared into space, as if she was seeing some ghastly film reel in front of her eyes that was only for her.

"And there was that moment, before we found the box, where he looked at me and I could so easily have been taken in by him again. He wanted me." She laughed quietly, bitterly. "I knew that if I'd wanted to, I could have slept with him again, I could have made him very aware of exactly what he'd been missing all these years. He offered himself to me on a gilded platter, but I couldn't do it. Now, every time I close my eyes, I keep seeing the lust on his face slowly turning cold, and it scares the hell out of me."

Hillary felt himself stiffen as Lara recalled her last moments with Terry Sheridan. He couldn't help it; it was an instinctive reaction where _that man_ was concerned. For years, he had silently hated Sheridan for what he did to Lara the first time around, and although he'd never admit as much to Lara, he was very glad the man was gone. What he couldn't feel glad about, however, was the pain that Sheridan's death was putting Lara through.

Lara looked back at Hillary, her eyes clearing once more. "I could no more have slept with Terry then, than I could _not_ have slept with him all those years back. There was one thing that stopped me, made me realise that he didn't have that kind of hold on me any more; you. The awful thing is, where he had such power over my heart before, his death is the worst thing I've ever had to come to terms with."

"I've killed people before," Lara whispered. "I've had no choice, but this time…it was so cold, Hilly. I'll never forget that look on his face just before he died." She shivered. "He looked so surprised…as though he didn't believe I'd just shot him."

"You did the only thing you could do," Hillary responded. If he felt at all bruised by her frankness, he tried desperately not to show it. "If you hadn't…we, and the world, wouldn't be here to tell the tale." He stroked a stray lock of hair from her beautiful face. It pained him to see her torturing herself over something that she couldn't change.

"I know you're right," Lara sighed. But every time I think about it, I either feel anger, or this sense of…grief. I can't get it out of my head." Having finished with the sheet, she picked up the slice of toast once more, and mindlessly began to break it apart with her fingers. "Will it ever go away, Hilly?"

"Give yourself time, Lara," Hillary said gently. "There is so much you've got to live for. Everyone who loves you wants to see you healed, but you must allow yourself some time to do it." Hillary pulled her close once more. He didn't have proper answers; he hadn't been there; but one thing he did have was absolute and unshakeable faith in Lara. The faith that came from the deep and enduring love he had for her. But he was worried. He knew that Lara was grieving, and although he was fairly certain how deeply she felt for him, Hillary couldn't shake the sudden, totally irrational jealousy that talking of Lara's former lover had evoked. Trying his best to quash those feelings, he eventually left Lara to her breakfast.

Chapter 2


	2. Chapter 2

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Chapter 2

A little later, Lara emerged from her room. Hillary, who was pretending to occupy himself by shifting ornaments in the Great Hall, looked up when he heard her bedroom door open. His heart skipped a beat as he saw her, looking unusually fragile, hovering at the top of the stairs. She was dressed simply in a pair of cropped jeans and one of his own white shirts, and her hair was loosely braided.

"I thought I may as well get up," Lara gave a small smile. "It was getting a little cold in there without you, anyway!" She padded down the staircase and stood by his side. Taking his hand, she looked up into his eyes.

"I know I've been difficult since we got back," Lara murmured.

"Under the circumstances-" Hillary began to utter his dissent.

"No, don't try to make me feel better," Lara replied. "I know you and Bryce have been worried sick about me, but really, there's no need. I'm fine." She gave a more convincing smile.

Hillary wished he could believe her, but some instinct told him that this was far from over. Although his heart told him that Lara loved him, elements of fear and doubt kept nagging him during his quieter moments about just what his position actually was in Lara's life.

He knew that the last thing Lara needed was to have more emotional demands placed on her, but he didn't know how long he could keep up the façade that everything was fine. He needed to hear, from her, that he was the only man she wanted. It was all well and good for Lara to say that the thought of he, Hillary, had stopped her from sleeping with Sheridan, but was it just guilt and a sense of duty that had stayed her hand, or did she truly feel something deeper for him?

Cursing inwardly his own selfish thoughts at a time when Lara so obviously needed him, Hillary tried to ignore his questions for the moment. He drew her close for a moment, resting his lips briefly on the top of her head. "Just remember that I'm here," he said quietly. "Now and always, for as long as you need me." He felt a tingle down his spine as Lara wrapped her long, elegant arms around him.

"I know you are, Hilly," she said, holding on to him tightly. "That's one of the things that I love about you."

A discreet cough brought both of them abruptly back to earth.

"Don't mind me," Bryce Turing said with a trace of embarrassment. "I was just after some breakfast." As he passed the embracing couple, he caught Hillary's eye. The look was pure _I knew it! _

Hillary turned to Lara once more and cleared his throat. "Well, it seems there's little need to tell Bryce now-it looks like we've given ourselves away." He smiled down at her. "Unless you can think of a convincing explanation that has somehow eluded me?"

Lara giggled, a sound that filled Hillary with optimism. "Oh well, it's about time he found out anyway." She ran a warm hand over Hillary's jawline. "I mean, everyone'll find out sooner or later." She looked relieved, and happy, and for a moment, Hillary forgot his worries about her.

"How do you fancy a ride over the estate?" Lara asked. "Midnight could definitely do with a bit of exercise and I know Arrow's just been re-shod and needs riding out."

"Well, I've got one or two things to attend to, but give me an hour or so and you're on," Hillary replied. He looked concerned for a moment. "That's if you're up to it?"

"Oh, don't start all that again," Lara said quickly. "I think I'm about overdue for a bit of fresh air, and I know for a fact that no-one's checked the fences on the estate for a little while now." She rose up on tiptoes and kissed him briefly. "I'll see you at the stables at about twelve-ish." With that, she wandered off to her own drawing room.

Chapter 3 


	3. Chapter 3

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Chapter 3

A short time later, Hillary had completed the few jobs on his list and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. As he entered the room, he saw the gangling figure of Bryce Turing lounging against the kitchen table, grinning from ear to ear.

"Well then," Bryce began. "Want to tell me what that little clinch in the corridor was all about?"

"I'm sorry, Bryce, I'm not in the mood for questions, and if you know what's good for you, you'll refrain from pestering Lara." Hillary's reply was a little more curt than he intended, but he was in no mood for games.

"Oh, come on!" Snorted Bryce. "I catch you and Lady C in a lip lock and you're not going to give me any details?" He took the kettle and filled it with water. "How long have you been…how shall I say, performing services under your new remit?"

Hillary was torn between anger and the desire to laugh-an irrational combination of emotions that had him momentarily questioning his own sanity. In the end, anger won out.

"Just give it a rest, Bryce," Hillary snapped. "Now isn't the time." He took a large gulp of the glass of water he'd poured and placed it into the sink.

"Alright mate, but you're going to have to own up to it sometime!" Bryce reached for the coffee jar and a clean mug.

Hillary shook his head, feeling more uncomfortable by the second. How could he tell Bryce what was going on if he didn't even know himself? Hurriedly, he washed up his glass and strode from the room, leaving a grinning but still curious Bryce behind him.

Before he came to Croft Manor, Hillary had never been near a horse, much less sat on one while it was moving. However, in the fifteen years that he had served Sir Richard, and now Lara, he had had plenty of opportunity to learn to ride. Now, as with the other skills he had learned to be able to help Lara in her training, he was an excellent horseman. He didn't have Lara's natural fearlessness; after all, she had been put in the saddle almost before she could walk, but he made up for it with calmness and determination.

While he wasn't complacent enough to define Arrow as "his" horse, he was the one who rode the fourteen year old gelding most often, and horse and rider had developed an instinctive rhythm. The chestnut horse was patient with other riders, but Hillary sensed that he preferred him best. Arrow was also rather fond of Lara's recent favourite, the four-year-old Midnight, and, as far as horses went, he had taken the youngster under his wing. The two were virtually inseparable; an irony that was not lost on Hillary.

It was a relief to shrug out of the butler's uniform and into his comfy old riding clothes. The black jodhpurs that had seemed so ridiculous when he'd first put them on all those years ago now were well-worn and comfortable, and the ivy green cable knit jumper was a favourite that Lara had given him a few Christmasses past. His scuffed old riding boots completed the ensemble; irresponsible though it was, he hadn't worn a riding hat for years.

It came as no surprise to Hillary to see Lara talking nonsense to Midnight as he entered the stables. She had tacked him up and was checking his girth, all the while chatting away to the vast dark gelding.

"Let's get out there and blow some of those cobwebs away, old son," Lara was saying as she did the final checks on the horse's tack. "After all, a little bit of fresh air is what we both need, isn't it? Isn't it just, old boy? That'll help send those dreams packing, won't it? Yes, it will…"

"I bet you're the best conversationalist that horse has ever had!" Hillary joked as he reached forward to pat Midnight. "He's missed you," he continued, more seriously, as the dark horse turned its head and gently butted Lara with his soft nose.

"I've missed him," Lara said, cuffing the horse affectionately. "He's put on a bit of weight since I've been away," she continued, heaving the horse's girth strap up another hole. "He's going to need taking out a bit more now I'm back!"

"He's probably been comfort eating!" Hillary replied. "Bit like Bryce, when you're out of the country."

Lara laughed. "And you?"

"Quite the opposite," Hillary responded. "I hardly see the point of cooking when it's just Bryce and I-and eating with him does tend to put me off my food!"

"Naughty!" Lara chided. "Well, give me a leg up?"

In very little time, they were trotting companionably across the back end of the Croft estate. The weather was all hazy sunshine and light breeze, and Hillary was relieved to see a little more colour in Lara's cheeks as she rode. This gentle ride out was far removed from her gun-toting side saddle training sessions, and Hillary could see from the contented expression on her face, that this was just what the doctor ordered.

"I forget how lovely it is out here," Lara said. "Every time I come back, I'm reminded of just how lucky I am." She kicked Midnight on a little more. "Come on, old boy, pick up your feet!" The horse made a sound like he was blowing a raspberry at her, but complied and the trot became a little faster.

"I think he's reminding you that you haven't taken him out for a while!" Hillary laughed. "Unless the 'old boy' you were referring to was me, of course."

They were both hatless, and as Lara turned in her saddle to look back at Hillary, who had dropped behind, owing to Arrow's slightly shorter stride, her plait swung over her shoulder.

"You're hardly old, Hilly," she grinned. "You don't look a day over, say, fifty!" Knowing that Hillary was a long way from that age, she kicked the horse again before he could respond.

"Get down on the ground and let me hear you say that!" Hillary called after her retreating back. Kicking Arrow a little harder, he felt the horse's rhythm change from trot to canter, and adjusted his gait accordingly. In very little time, despite Arrow's shorter legs, he had overtaken the slightly overweight Midnight.

Had Hillary chanced to look behind as he passed Lara, he would have seen desire written all over her face. It was something to do with his thrusting hips in the saddle, driving the horse further on, past her own. She would never tell him in a million years, but the sight of his firm thighs gripping that powerful horse was an instant aphrodisiac.

Unfortunately for Hillary and Arrow, it was also enough to spur on Lara's competitive streak, and she gave Midnight a powerful kick. Midnight, even though he was feeling his own weight a little, was more than happy to gain the ascendancy and began to stretch his legs. It wasn't long before horse and rider, tail and both raven manes flying, had outstripped Hillary and Arrow.

Arrow, sensing his rider's surprise, caught back up with Midnight, and both horses cantered side by side for a while, until Lara and Hillary pulled them up gently.

"A few more rides like that and Midnight'll be back on form in no time!" Lara said, herself slightly breathless, not entirely from the exertion of the canter.

Hillary smiled. This time he had seen the way Lara had looked at him, and desire had begun to flare inside him at her expression. She had obviously intended for him to catch her staring, and just for a moment he enjoyed the scrutiny of her gaze; from his eyes, down his body, across his thighs and further.

"Arrow could do with a break," Hillary said, his voice a little husky. "It's not easy for him to keep up with a youngster like Midnight." He stroked along the horse's neck, ruffling his mane with his long fingers. "Why don't we give them a rest?"

Lara could feel herself getting aroused just watching Hillary caressing his horse, and she was relieved to see the Croft folly just over the hill.

"Why don't we tether them up at the folly for an hour or so?" Lara suggested. "That'll give us a good place to…rest, as well." She threw a sultry, lazy smile in Hillary's direction.

Chapter 4 


	4. Chapter 4

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Chapter 4

Lara's grandfather, who, at the time, had had more money than sense, had built the folly. At the southernmost boundary of the Croft estate, he had supposedly built it so that he could paint and write in peace during the summer. Lara's grandmother had been outraged to discover that many of the subjects of his paintings had been naked village girls, and her husband's insistence that the paintings were "all in the best possible taste" had fallen on deaf ears.

As a result, she had banned him from the folly, and the place had been abandoned until Lara's father had spruced it up twenty years later and used it as a place of solitude, when his business had become too demanding. Lara rarely visited the folly, but she knew that it was still in a reasonably good state. Sir Richard had installed a bed and a sink in addition to the study that his father had built, and there were a few bottles of sherry hidden in the pantry.

In very little time Lara and Hillary had covered the distance to the folly, and Hillary quickly dismounted. Tethering Arrow safely and loosening the horse's girth, with enough leeway for the horse to graze a little, he walked over to where Lara was holding Midnight. Quite unnecessarily, for Lara needed no assistance to dismount, he placed his hand on her jodhpur-clad thigh, and guided her down to the ground.

"Thanks, Hilly," Lara said wryly. She moved a little closer to him, and the warmth of her own body mingled with his as she pressed against him.

Hillary coughed. "Hadn't you better see to Midnight?" He said, his voice a little unsteady.

Quickly, Lara tethered her horse and loosened his girth. "There you go, old boy, now you be good," she said as she walked back to Hillary.

"Aren't I always, ma'am?" Hillary teased, pulling her close once more. He wanted her, and the fresh air had given them both a renewed sense of urgency.

"Don't call me ma'am," Lara chided, with a twinkle in her eye as their lips met.

"Sorry, my Lady," Hillary continued to tease, between kisses.

"And don't call me that, either!" Lara's words were becoming increasingly difficult to pronounce as feeling took over.

They quickly made their way to the folly, and Lara pushed the small door open. It wasn't the door to the inner rooms, but it led instead to a small walled garden. The grass was long and slightly damp from the morning dew, but the last thing they were worried about was catching a chill. The sun shone brightly over the garden, and it was hidden from the outside world. Not that many people wandered out this far from the manor house.

Heedless of the slight ache that was starting in his legs, and feeling his own desire rise, Hillary drew Lara to him, and kissed her with renewed passion. Yearning made him bold, and his hands wandered to the waistband of her jodhpurs, and further, caressing her gently.

Lara could feel Hillary's arousal, and she ran her hands up inside his green jumper, tracing the muscles of his back and caressing his warm, naked skin. Pressing close to him, she could feel his hardness through her jodhpurs, and the sensations that were flooding over her became even more intense.

"I hope the horses can't see us!" She said softly. "If Midnight saw what I'm going to do with you next, the poor baby'd be traumatised for life!"

"Lara," Hillary said equally softly. "Do shut up." He captured her lips once more in a deep kiss and pushed her back against the folly wall. In one fluid motion he had removed her black sweatshirt and managed to discard his own jumper. The exquisite contact of skin on skin was enough to give both of them a renewed sense of urgency.

Hillary, still in awe at times that the woman he loved was Lady Lara Croft, marvelled in her semi-naked body. He gently kissed and caressed every inch of her naked flesh, until she was shivering with desire, and he was lost in their mutual heat.

Lifting her slightly, so that her long, slender legs wrapped around his waist, Hillary took hold of Lara and guided her down into the long meadow grass. They began to explore one another, wrapped in the soft embrace of the grass, which was rapidly warming under the sun's lazy gaze. Hot, fevered kisses gave way to pure white passion as Hillary and Lara drove each other even higher, until in very little time they had become one.

The athletic thrusts that had awakened Lara's lust when Hillary was on horseback fed her desire as they made love. His body met with hers in a perfectly matched interplay that, in the end, left them both sated and temporarily exhausted.

For a little time after they lay together on the warm grass. Hillary had pulled his old jodhpurs back on, and Lara was wearing his green jumper, which came down almost to her knees. Lara idly traced the white, jagged line of a scar on Hillary's chest, a souvenir from an incident with a fencing foil in his teens, or so he had told her before. The hunger that they felt for one another as lovers was equal to their affection as friends, and so they were totally at ease.

"What's on your mind?" Hillary asked as he saw her thoughtful expression.

"I was just thinking about what we're going to tell Bryce about us," she replied, looking up at him. He had propped himself up on one elbow, and Lara was once again distracted by the muscled contours of his arms and chest. To think, she had spent so much time alongside this man and never noticed his heavenly physique.

"Now there's a name I want to hear after making love to a beautiful woman!" Hillary replied wryly, grabbing her wandering hand.

Lara rolled her eyes in mock-exasperation, but then smiled. "Well, it was about time he found out anyway!" She said firmly. "After all, we can't keep it a secret forever."

"You're right," Hillary replied. "But I can't help wishing we'd actually had the chance to tell him, rather than his walking in on us." He ran a hand over Lara's cheek, caressing her gently.

"We mustn't make him feel uncomfortable," Lara said, concerned for her friend. "After all, he's still a member of the family."

"I agree-but I don't think he's going to feel too badly about it all," Hillary answered. "He once told me that you were the stroppy older sister he never had!"

"Bloody cheek!" laughed Lara, not at all offended.

"So what _exactly _should we tell him?" She asked again, once more all seriousness.

A mixture of emotions crossed Hillary's face in the split second it took for him to register the question. Unwilling to place more emotional demands on Lara at a time when she was still so injured, he merely smiled, hoping that she would provide the answers for them both.

"You make that decision, Lara. Tell him the truth, and you never know, he might just not ask too many questions." He knew she was about to respond, but fearful of what that response might be, pulled her close, half to avoid her searching gaze.

Hillary needn't have worried. Lara was beginning to realise that the love she had for Hillary as a friend, and the passion she had for him as a lover, were deepening into something far more enduring. She relaxed in his arms for a moment, preoccupied with the dawning knowledge. As they parted once more, Hillary spoke.

"Just, for heaven's sake, tell him enough that he stops taking the piss out of me!"

This made Lara laugh again, and she snuggled closer to him. Momentarily, Hillary lost himself in the warmth of her embrace.

Chapter 5 


	5. chapter 5

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Chapter 5

Eventually they decided to head back to the manor. The horses, rested and contented from their quiet couple of hours, were happy to head back to the stables at a leisurely pace and so the riders decided not to push them.

The folly end of the Croft estate was rather hilly, and the riders found themselves on top of horses who were picking their way down the still slightly damp grass, aware that a false step might send them careering down towards the stream on the west side. The horses sensed that they were on their way home, and so they were in no hurry to slip. In fact, the ride back would have been utterly uneventful had it not been for the sudden rise of the pheasants from the opposite field.

Midnight, young and unaccustomed to sudden noises, started and shied at the sight and sound of the birds. Arrow, who should have known better at his age, suddenly took off. Struggling to hold the powerful young horse, Lara was distracted for a moment.

"Come on, Mid, stand, come on old son, stand still." Pulling him around to face the direction they had been going, Lara was gripped with worry as Hillary and Arrow were nowhere to be seen.

"Hilly!" Lara called, kicking Midnight into a trot. "Hillary!" Sensing his rider's mounting panic, Midnight picked up the pace, cantering back up the hill and stopping as soon as he reached the top.

"Hilly!" Lara shouted again, but there was no response.

Turning the horse around, she quickly made her way down the hill. As she did so, she caught sight of a riderless Arrow picking his way down the stream in the direction of the Croft estate. The panic that had gripped Lara initially now doubled as she scanned the surrounding area for Hillary.

"Hillary!" She cried again. As quickly as she could, she dismounted and tied Midnight's reins out of the way. There was nothing to tether him to, so she let him drop his head, praying that he would be satisfied enough with the grass on top of the hill not to wander too far.

Clambering down the grass bank, Lara's natural agility only just kept her upright. Her concern for Hillary was making her clumsy, and she didn't take any notice of the twigs and branches that she was tripping over on her way down. If Hillary had fallen into the stream…

She kept calling as she neared the river, but there was still no sign of him. Checking, with rising panic up and down the stream but seeing nothing, she scrambled over the rocky streambed and kept shouting Hillary's name.

Then, she saw him. He was lying just at the edge of the stream and he lay absolutely still. There was no sign of injury except for a livid gash down one side of his head, just below his hairline. Faint with relief, but her heart pounding with new worry, Lara reached his side in seconds.

"Hilly," Lara spoke gently. "Hilly, please, can you hear me?" No response. Automatically, Lara checked Hillary's pulse and airway. He was breathing, which was a good sign, but he was unconscious. Gingerly she tried to check the injuries that he had sustained. Apart from the gash on his head, and a possible sprained wrist, there were no other outward signs; but Lara knew better than to be too optimistic. If Arrow had fallen onto Hillary when he fell off, Hillary may have all kinds of internal bleeding. Biting back a howl of anguish, she tried to get a grip on herself. She must focus if she was to get the man she loved to safety.

Thankfully, she had been trained enough in recent years never to leave home without a mobile phone, and she quickly located it in the pocket of her jodhpurs. In very little time she had contacted the emergency services. This area on the Croft estate was inaccessible by ambulance, so Lara knew that the Air Ambulance was on its way.

As she had spoken nonsense to Midnight while she was tacking him up, so she spoke to Hillary. She didn't know why, she was almost certain he couldn't hear her, but it was as much to stop herself losing her composure as for his benefit.

"Come on, Hilly, open your eyes," she repeated, over and over. "You can't leave me now, there's so much we need to do. Please, open your eyes and show me that you're going to be alright."

Hillary was deathly pale, and the angry red gash on his forehead was looking more and more livid. It was so unlike him, Lara thought, to loose control of Arrow, but the horse had spooked, and once again she was reminded of how unpredictable horses could be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Lara gently wiped some of the blood from his head with her sleeve.

From her training with the Marines, she could tell that his neck wasn't broken, so she very gently began to cradle him in her arms. She was aware that, in the small valley by the stream, the temperature was far cooler than up on the hill, and she didn't want to add exposure to Hillary's list of injuries.

"You can't leave me now, Hilly," she said softly. "I lost one friend in Africa, I'm buggered if I'm going to let you die too." Lara swallowed painfully, the memories flooding back of how she had held Terry's lifeless body in her arms after his death. Even though she had been responsible for Sheridan's demise, she still mourned him. She was not going to allow Hillary to slip away from her.

It seemed an eternity until the throbbing hum of the Air Ambulance announced its presence overhead. Lara looked up, weak with relief, and waved an arm to signal her location. She hoped that they had noticed Midnight up on the hill, and that they would keep their distance from him. In very little time, the ambulance crew had landed and were heading down the steep bank to where Hillary lay.

One of the ambulance crew, a young man in his twenties, helped his colleague to load Hillary's unconscious form onto a stretcher. "How did it happen, Ma'am?" He asked Lara.

"The horse he was riding just spooked and I found him down here about twenty minutes ago." She stood, rather shakily, once Hillary had been strapped in to the stretcher. "Even an experienced rider couldn't had stopped Arrow once he'd started."

The Air Ambulance crew were all efficiency, and had soon loaded Hillary into the helicopter. For a moment, before they cleared for take off, Lara sat beside Hillary's still unconscious body. "Hilly," she whispered, placing the gentlest of kisses on his lips. "I love you. Please come back to me."

A quiet cough from the flight deck behind Lara brought her back to the present. "We're ready to take off, Lady Croft," one of the crewmen said.

Fortunately, the Air Ambulance had radioed ahead to Croft Manor as per Lara's instructions, and a Land Rover containing three of the stables staff was clearing the hill just as the helicopter was ready to leave. Weak with relief, she knew that they would catch the horses and take them back to the house as quickly as they could. Rather spuriously, she made a mental note to give both horses a packet of Polos as soon as she knew Hillary was out of the woods. After all, it wasn't Arrow's fault; he had just been caught out.

The helicopter covered the ground to Hertfordshire hospital in very little time. Throughout the journey, Hillary remained still and silent. Lara didn't let go of his hand once. She had never been a religious person, but she was praying with all of her heart and soul that Hillary would open his eyes.

Chapter 6


	6. Chapter 6

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Chapter 6

As soon as Hillary was inside the hospital, Lara had to cope with the fact that he was taken straight into the emergency room. Like a caged animal, she paced up and down the waiting room, desperate for any news. Every time a nurse or doctor passed the glass door, she turned hopefully, but to no avail. Bryce had rushed over to the hospital as soon as he'd heard the news, but, rather foolishly, Lara had convinced him to return to the manor. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate the company, but her senses of grief and fear were so great that she couldn't bear to share them with anyone else. Hillary was her responsibility, and if he didn't pull through this, she couldn't contemplate life without him.

Just as her fear and frustration were reaching breaking point, a doctor walked through the door. He was mature and fatherly-looking, and he smiled calmly at Lara as she sprang to her feet.

"How is he?" Lara asked automatically, her heart in her mouth.

"Out of the woods for now," the doctor replied. He guided her to a chair. "He took a nasty bump to the head when he was thrown off, but thankfully, the horse didn't land on him, so apart from a cracked rib that he probably got on one of the rocks by the stream, and a sprained wrist, there's no lasting damage done."

Lara felt weak with relief. "Can I see him?" she said, her voice betraying her tumult of emotions.

"Of course; he's in a private ward off the main general ward. I'll ask the ward sister to take you to him." He patted her hand gently. "I think you've gone above and beyond the call of duty for your patient today, Lady Croft. Any butler would be grateful for your concern."

Lara was jolted back to reality for a moment. Swallowing her annoyance at the doctor's unintentional _faux pas_, she smiled. "Thank you, doctor."

Swiftly, the doctor led Lara to Hillary's room. She was appalled to see how pale he looked, and she fought back sudden tears as she saw his long, elegant hands, motionless on top of the hospital sheet, the right hand sporting a canula that led to a saline drip. As the doctor withdrew, Lara pulled up a chair and sat beside Hillary's bed.

"Hey you," she said softly. "I've just had a call from John in the stables. He says Arrow, much unlike you, is shaken but unhurt. You both gave me a real scare." Gently, she took hold of his left hand. "Now all you need to do is wake up, and we can both go home."

There was still no response from the man on the bed. Lara knew that, for the moment, although Hillary was unconscious, there was no imminent cause for concern. One of the first things the hospital had done was perform a CAT scan to ensure that there was no internal bleeding inside his skull. However, she also knew that the longer he lay unconscious, the greater the risk of developing cranial damage.

They stayed like that for a little while, until the ward nurse gently but firmly insisted that Lara leave for the night. Mr Hillary, the nurse insisted, needed peace and quiet. Lara had to bite back a reply that, actually, Mr Hillary would probably far rather the conversation. Even Lara could not persuade the ward staff that she needed to stay though, so, much as she hated the thought of leaving Hillary for the night, she called a taxi and returned to Croft Manor.

Entering the Manor, long after nine o'clock, Lara was struck immediately by the quiet. She had been so used, over the years, to see Hillary greeting her at the door with a smile and a word, that even Bryce's presence, while comforting, under the circumstances, was no substitute. Bryce wasn't a terrible cook, but the best he could run to at short notice was beans on toast, which Lara barely touched.

As she was picking over the soggy toast and incinerated beans at the kitchen table, Bryce spoke.

"Hillary's a strong bloke, Lara," he said softly. "If anyone can pull through this, it's him." He stood up and cleared their plates.

"I know Hillary and I don't always see eye to eye," Bryce continued, "but he's also always been good to me. And I know that he loves you."

Lara looked up, surprised. "How do you reckon that?"

Bryce sighed in mock-exasperation and brushed his unruly mop of dark hair away from his eyes. "Come on Lara, Hillary's loved you for years. He just couldn't tell you how he felt until you told him first." Giving up on his attempt to clean the plates by hand, he shrugged and put them in the dishwasher.

"When you were in Shanghai, he nearly went mad with worry; he couldn't wait to have you back on home ground." He moved from the dishwasher and stood next to Lara.

"You might think that you and he are a reasonably new development, but anyone with an eye in their head could have seen years ago that you are the only woman Hillary has ever, and will ever, love." He patted her shoulder awkwardly.

"When I first met him, it was obvious to me that, in spite of the tight-arsed butler routine, he was in love with you. It was only a matter of time before you fell for him too-or so anyone who met the two of you hoped." The patting stopped, but Bryce stayed close to Lara.

"But he never said anything," Lara whispered. "All those years, and he kept quiet."

"It wasn't his place," Bryce replied. "Can you imagine what it would have done to that servant-master relationship you upper classes are so fond of? It would have destroyed him to make you feel uncomfortable."

"So he waited," Lara murmured. "Until I finally came to my senses and realised that I loved him too." She looked up at Bryce, suddenly vulnerable. "And now it might be too late to tell him."

Meeting her gaze, Bryce smiled gently. "I know, that if there's one thing that will make Hillary recover from this it's you telling him how much you love him."

Lara stood up from the table and, for the first time since she'd known him, she hugged Bryce. "Thank you," she said.

"Not a problem," Bryce said slightly awkwardly. "Give him my best when you see him."

"I will. I know it will mean a lot to him." With that, she wandered from the kitchen.

Chapter 7 


	7. Chapter 7

The Lara and Hillary Tomb Raider Fanfiction Archive

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Chapter 7

It wasn't long before the call came. Having just stepped out of the quickest shower on record, Lara grabbed a towel and charged to the phone.

"Hello?" she said breathlessly.

"Lady Croft?" The clipped, efficient tones of the ward sister announced that this was not just a house call.

"Yes? How's Hillary?" Lara asked. Part of her dreaded the answer.

"He woke about ten minutes ago."

Lara felt weak with relief. Collapsing onto one of the chairs in the upstairs hall, she nearly dropped the telephone. "I'll be over as soon as I can. Thank you," she managed. "Oh, Sister?"

"Yes, Lady Croft?" Still that efficient tone that, to Lara, totally belied the news that she had given.

"Can you tell Hillary that…" Pause. Lara remembered the doctor's embarrassed reaction.

"_Yes_, Lady Croft?"

"Can you tell him that I'm on my way?" There was one message she wanted to give Hillary in person.

Pulling on the jeans and shirt that she had worn that morning, Lara belted out of the front door.

Half an hour later, Lara strode briskly down the hospital corridors. In very little time she had reached Hillary's little room. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and walked in.

Hillary looked much the same as before, but with one significant difference; his eyes, which had been closed in an approximation of slumber, were now open and showing a tired, yet tender expression.

"Hello," Lara said quietly as she approached the bed. "How are you feeling?"

Hillary smiled faintly. "As if I've just been hit by half a ton of horse!" He looked up at her. "Is Arrow alright?"

Lara nodded, quite unable to speak. Instead, she leaned over, and very gently kissed Hillary on the lips.

"Lara, are you alright?" Hillary asked, when they eventually broke apart.

"Oh Hilly," Lara said, trying desperately to keep control. "You've no idea how worried I've been about you. I thought I'd lost you."

"It would take a lot more than Arrow having a tantrum to take me away from you," Hillary replied, giving her a faint smile. Wincing as he shifted position slightly, Lara moved away.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" She asked, seeing a flicker of pain crossing his face as he moved.

"Get me out of here?" Hillary asked.

"As soon as I can, I will." Lara answered, wishing for nothing more.

They sat in a gentle, companionable silence for a while. Then, eventually, Lara spoke again.

"When you were lying on the ground, not moving, I thought I'd lost you," she said.

"I don't know what I'd have done if…if…" she couldn't speak.

Hillary took a deep breath. "Lara…I promise you, I'll never leave you." He reached out a hand and caressed her cheek. "No matter what happens, I will always be there for you, for as long as you want me."

"And you always have, haven't you Hilly?" Lara replied. "You've always looked out for me."

Hillary looked thoughtful. "It was my duty, and the only thing I've ever wanted to do."

"Well, from now on, things are going to change," Lara said, almost playfully. "I'm going to be looking after you."

"Really Lara, I'll be absolutely fine in a day or two," Hillary said, and then winced once more. "Then things can get back to normal."

"Well, not quite, Hilly," countered Lara. "Because there's something I need to tell you."

Hillary looked concerned. "What is it? Were you hurt? Is everything alright at home?"

Giving his hand the gentlest of squeezes, Lara gave the broadest smile she could. "Calm down, Hilly, it's just something I realised when I saw you at the bottom of the hill." She looked deep into his eyes once more. "I'm in love with you."

If it were possible, Hillary seemed to go even paler. Before he could speak, Lara continued.

"I think I always have been really-it just took the possibility of losing you to make me realise." She tried to stop her voice from trembling once more.

"I know that since we've been…together, I haven't been totally clear about my feelings for you, but I need you to know now that I love you, no matter where I go and what I do. I knew when Sheridan tried to seduce me again that it was you I needed, and though I'll never quite forget what I did to him, as far as actual, real love is concerned, it's you I want." It was a long speech, and Lara, quite uncharacteristically, blushed.

When she looked up again, she met Hillary's gaze. For the first time since she'd entered the room, there was colour in his cheeks. Suddenly, seemingly unwary of his bruises and injuries, he pulled her close.

"I've been waiting a long time to hear you say that," he replied huskily. "You've just made me the happiest man in the world."

A little while later, the ward sister poked her head around the door. Shock gave way to temptation as she realised what an exclusive scoop this was; Lady Lara Croft, archaeologist and adventurer, in the arms of her very own butler. She could name at least six tabloid newspapers, and probably a couple of broadsheets, that would pay good money for _that _particular story.

"Susan!" The ward sister hissed to the passing staff nurse. "Come here a sec!"

The staff nurse scampered to her side, and the ward sister opened the door a fraction further to show and entwined Hillary and Lara, fast asleep. Her eyes were like saucers as she turned back to her friend and colleague.

"Is that who I think it is?" She whispered, incredulous.

"None other," the ward sister replied.

"Well it's about time she found herself a man," the staff nurse said. "Rattling around that big house pretty much alone, and then buggering off around the world every so often. I never thought it would be Mr Hillary, though!"

"I suppose it stands to reason," giggled the ward sister. "After all, they are the only two people, apart from that Bryce bloke, who live there-and there I was, assuming that since Mr Hillary had never married, he must be gay!"

"I think that this proves pretty conclusively that he's not." The staff nurse said. "You have to admit, it's kind of sweet."

"Wait until the girls on ITU get word of this!" Whispered the ward sister. "What a scandal!"

"Now come on," the staff nurse said quietly, feeling slightly ashamed of her previous thoughts. "We've got a duty of care here. Not a word." She held up a finger as the ward sister began to protest. "Class A gossip though it is, this is between you, I and the doorframe for now. I'm sure when they think the time is right, they'll tell the world."

"Oh alright," grumbled the ward sister. Then she brightened. "Did I tell you who we treated in A&E last week for um…how do I put this…_carpet burns _on his…?" 

Epilogue 


	8. Epilogue

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Epilogue

It took a long time for Lara Croft to recover emotionally from the trauma she faced both during her adventure with the Cradle of Life, and afterwards. For nearly a year, she suffered the same appalling dreams, and at times she doubted her own sanity. However, time, as her dear friend and lover Hillary had said, was all that she needed, and as it passed, the nightmares became less frequent. She could never quite forget just how close she had been to her own mortality, and how she had been responsible for ending the life of someone who had once meant so much to her, but eventually she was able to accept these facts, and move slowly on.

When Hillary was released from hospital, he realised pretty quickly that he could no longer continue as Lara's butler. In spite of the nurses' discretion, news travels fast in hospitals, almost as swiftly as it does in the outside world, and so both Lara and Hillary decided that it was time to tell the world, or at least their nearest and dearest, about their relationship. Hillary still couldn't quite believe that Lara loved him, but as time moved on, and the aches and pains of his fall subsided, he felt safer more secure in the knowledge of her affection.

He still found his altered role in her life strange, and it took him a while to break the working habits of nearly two decades. Although he had never felt anything less than an equal to Lara, in his own way, he found being 'seen' by the outside world as an equal an interesting, and at times trying experience. He still recalled the somewhat frosty reaction of one particular maiden aunt of Lara's, who, when told the news, had made quite disparaging comments about 'fraternising with the help'.

Lara, in spite of her own slow healing process, was beginning to realise that she had never been happier. Still an adventurer at heart, she was determined to continue on with her quests as and when the mood took her. However, she was considerably more careful when in the process of jumping from planes or scaling cliffs, or whatever her adventures demanded of her. Hillary was still an invaluable part of her team, and, as he had always done before, he still kept the home fires burning. Granted, Lara made a conscious effort not to be away from home for such long periods of time these days, but the routine that they had developed over so many years still supported and maintained them in their altered relationship.

Almost a year to the day of the accident, Lara was preparing for her role as hostess at a charity gala held at Croft Manor in aid of the local hospital that had looked after Hillary so well. Everything was in place, and she felt confident that the army of caterers she had employed for the occasion had pulled out all the stops to ensure a great evening of dinner and dancing, with all proceeds going to the hospital. As she brushed her long hair back from her face, the door to her dressing room opened softly.

"Are you nearly ready?" Hillary asked, placing a glass of champagne on her dressing table. He was dressed in a very well cut black suit and a white dress shirt. A fraction too long, the cuffs of the shirt were adorned with simple gold cufflinks. Lara had been used to seeing Hillary in the butler's uniform for so long, that she kept being surprised at just how different Hillary looked "out of uniform", and tonight was no exception.

"Pretty much," she replied. "I'm having a spot of bother deciding which jewellery to wear though." She sighed, not without a trace of humour. "After all, one of the perks of the Croft title is the acres of family heirlooms that one is required to get out and dust off on a regular basis!"

Hillary smiled and leaned over to place a kiss on Lara's bare shoulder. Even before he was officially her partner at such occasions, he had always chosen her dresses, as Lara was notoriously impatient when it came to shopping for clothes, and the blood red velvet creation she was wearing tonight was no exception. It showed off her curvaceous figure to perfection, and even though Hillary had chosen it, seeing her in it still took his breath away.

"How about adding an heirloom from my family to the collection?" he said softly, placing a small box in front of her.

Curious, Lara opened the box. There, nestled on a bed of crimson velvet identical to the colour of Lara's dress, lay the most exquisite diamond pendant.

"It's beautiful!" Lara gasped, gently picking up the pendent on its fine gold chain.

"It belonged to my mother," Hillary replied. "My father gave it to her on their wedding night." Carefully, he took the pendant from her and fastened it around her slender neck. "It brought them luck for over fifty years; I hope it will do the same for you and I."

The diamond glittered in the light of Lara's dressing room, and she smiled. Turning around to face Hillary, he met her gaze with tender eyes. "It looks absolutely stunning. As do you."

Lara rose to her feet, and looked up at Hillary. "Thank you," she said softly. "This means more to me than I can ever say."

"All I want to know is that you love me," Hillary replied, the barest of trembles in his voice. He tilted his head slightly, and met Lara's lips with his own.

As they broke apart, Lara murmured. "Now, and always."

For a long moment, they just looked at one another. Then, eventually, Hillary said. "Well, are you ready to face the world?"

"As long as you're by my side, I can face anything," Lara replied.

"Anything?" Hillary teased. "Even Great Aunt Hortense?"

"Absolutely," Lara said, thinking of her maiden aunt's astounded expression. "Hired help indeed!"

Taking Hillary's offered arm, Lara checked her hair for one last time and they wandered out onto the upper landing that overlooked the Great Hall. They had faced a great deal over the past year to get to this night, but as Hillary and Lara descended the sweeping wooden staircase to the ground floor of the manor, neither could have been happier.

The End


End file.
